Auld Lang Syne

Since it is still the season of holidays, I bring you more history on things you don't know and probably never would have known about. This time I am going to let you know about the song Auld Lang Syne, to which you probably only know the well known lyrics of "Should auld acquaintance be forgot / and never brought to mind / should auld acquaintance be forgot / and auld lang syne." There are a lot more lyrics, and perhaps they will be brought up. Probably.

Now this is an old Scottish song originally, so that is why you are wondering "what does auld lang syne mean anyway." I am 1/128th Scottish, so I have absolute authority in what I am about to say. Auld Lang Syne actually translates to Old Long Sign. It is the only part of the song we haven't translated word to word from the original Scottish language. Now, it is fair to be said that the lyrics make no sense the way we sing them. So, let me help elaborate extensively on this.

The song is about a girl, as every good Scottish song should be. Particularly, it is about a Scottish boy singing to a girl. She wasn't Scottish, it was hundreds of years ago, there were problems, we won't go there. Now this is a fine love song about wandering around the braes and plucking at the gowans (original Scottish). And yes, they probably mean exactly what you think they mean. So he talks to his girl in such this way over a course of five verses until we get to the last one that says

And there’s a hand, my trusty fiere (girl in Scottish) !
and gie's (give) a hand o’ thine ! [Asking for her hand]
And we’ll tak a right gude-willy waught, (I don't want to explain this one)
for auld lang syne (The old long sign).

Basically, the old long sign isn't a sign of love like you are now thinking. It was a sign on the road that meant that he was almost home. So while being away signing love songs to his girl, the old Scottish boy was looking for the sign that he was almost home. Leaving his acquaintances and friends behind to return home the woman he loved. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Especially that wikipedia. What has happened over the last hundred years is that the song is played while people are drinking, and so the lyrics have gotten mumbled and lost in translation, but rest assured that my 1/128th Scottish self knows exactly what the song means.